Part Two of the STP Saga!

So, I shall presume that you all know what an STP is by now, and talk from that standpoint!

The pictures in the gallery below should show you the process that I used to do this, but since I can’t work out how to put them individually, you’ll have to browse.

How to bake a STP

Ingredients

One Packer

One metre of 5mm diameter tubing (bought in a medium size Robert Dyas for about £2)

One teat for a baby bottle (bought in a medium size Boots for about £2)

One reel of duct/gaffa tape (bought in a small Robert Dyas for about £6)

Materials

One skewer (not corkscrew) as used for barbequing

Alternatively one long tent peg

One stove (gas was used)

One cold water tap

One pair of scissors

One marker pen

One stopwatch

Method

1. Put the kettle on and lay out cups of tea
2. Take the marker pen and mark on the tip of the penis and back of the ballsack the rough line you wish the hole to pass through
3. Pour the hot water over the teabags
4. Heat the skewer or tent peg over the stove on high heat for a minute. Be sure to leave a part of it far enough away from the heat to be grasped. Use the stopwatch to time this
5. Hold the packer securely and slip the red-hot metal through it, from tip down shaft and out ballsack. It goes very fast if you are not careful, and melts very very easily, so go as slowly as you need to to ensure the line you have is at least roughly the line you wished to have
6. Rush to a tap  and remove the skewer, pulling the edges of the holes apart, thrusting your hands into the packer down the hole, and turning it inside out if necessary to ensure that the hole goes right through smoothly. Leave it in cold water for 1-2 minutes
7. Take the teabags out, add milk and sugar to taste and start drinking
8. Wash up the skewer, turn the stove off
9. Take the tubing and the teat. Cut the end off the teat in a very small way, and feed the tube into this. Use the duct or gaffa tape to secure this very securely. It comes off otherwise, and the tape struggles to stick to the smooth rubber of the teat so use LOTS
10. Feed the tubing from the other end down the cock, leaving a tiny bit sticking out at the tip end, and enough at the ball end to bend it down and have the cup hanging lower than the bottom of the balls
11. Trim to taste
12. Rush to the toilet having drunken so much tea, and test it out

Yes, this method does work contrary to my first post where it very very clearly failed. The timings should also make a perfect cup of tea. Try the packer for the first time naked in the shower (you will drip) and get very used to using it without clothes before you add clothes. After that get very used to using it with clothes before you start using it in public!

I will include instructions for a couple of types of harness tomorrow, probably, and the day after will try and write something about how and when to use or not use this marvellous device!

Part One of the STP Saga!

Now playing: Manic Street Preachers – Journal for Plague Lovers / Journal for Plague Lovers

(yes, that was a plug, no, it won’t happen often, yes they are my favourite band, yes you need to hear this album, yes it is relevant to gender issues)

Now, the saga
I’ve tried a few various methods to make a working STP (device enabling female genitalia to urinate standing tidily), the most effective being cutting the nose of a plastic bottle off at a 45 degree angle, putting the cap on, boring a hole in the cap, and sticking the pointy bit inside me and pissing, but that’s obviously not very realistic (unless you know many cisguys with clear plastic penises? I thought not). I also couldn’t pack with it. Now, what I really want is one packer that I can piss, pack and play with, but I have a hands on side so I’m also determined to make it. To those ends I gathered some equipment together:

Two nipples for baby bottles

One metre of plastic tubing sold in car shops for screen fluid

One cyberskin packer

One skewer

One tap

One gas stove

I say I’m a hands-on guy, yes, but I never claimed to be any good at hands on type stuff, so it didn’t work. The plan was to heat the skewer on the gas stove and thrust it, with as little effort and drama as possible, through the packer, before running cold water down the hole to seal it, then running the tube through, poking a hole in the bottle nipple, putting the tube into the hole and tada, one STP device. However, my cunning plan failed quite drastically due to a few major mistakes

1) Not heating the skewer enough so it took a few hard throusts to make any hole, then not realising when it was properly hot, thrusting too hard, and at the wrong angle, so it came out the bottom of the penis before going back in. Yes. Success. Clearly.

2) Not running cold water through for long enough

3) Not finding a way of sealing the nipple to the tubing

4) Choosing too thin a tube with the result of it needing me to piss verrrrrrrrrry sloooooooooooooowly

5) Getting so startled about actually having a penis in my reflection that I dropped the whole caboodle.

I’ve ordered a new one (hence why there can be a Part Two) and am going to try again with a wider tube, longer time and a hotter skewer because I want this to work. When this is done I need to work out how to modify it so that I can play with it as well as pissing and packing! At the moment I have another satisfyingly realistic one for play but it’s a bit of a mood-killer (“Hang on while I put my penis on”) so I want to solve that little problem somehow. Somehow being the operative word, I’m really not sure how I’m going to get this to work, but there has to be a way. As I don’t really want to post pictures of a scarred and mutilated attempt there will be pictures (and a video if I have my ASUS eeebook back from the repair people) on Thursday!

Sorry, but you are looking for something that isn’t here

“Sorry, but you are looking for something that isn’t here” said the wordpress blog page when I’d deleted the “hello world” post it gave me, or alternatively said my body when I looked down to see if I had magically grown a penis overnight. Sadly, the world is not that simple!

Now it’s my turn to say “Hello World”!

My name is James, although my friends generally call me Jamie, or a variety of nicknames I’ve picked up throughout my life, to avoid their discomfort at calling my by any particular name that they aren’t sure fits me, or aren’t quite ready to use, as it means acknowledging me as fully male, or have chosen to use to avoid calling me Jamie in a situation where it might not be appropriate, for example at home with my parents! I am going to try and update this little blogroll daily with various things, be they considerations of the binary gender system, mentions of my own transition and how that’s progressing (slower than a drunk paraplegic snail up a wall), or various other transgender related odd bits and pieces, with the odd mention of religion, or my wonderful boyfriend, or something else! I’m going to try and keep it relevant but really, don’t hold up a lot of hope for there being a daily post when I also have a community blog I’m meant to post to (genderblogs – see my links column), a blog on livejournal, and a couple of other places, but then I really enjoy reading other blogs like this, and how the transgender blogging community interweaves, so we’ll see. Either way things will get cross-posted a bit, because I want people to see, but this will be my main spot!

How do I label myself? Well, it depends on the weather 😛

I’m a trannyfag at the moment  – I’m FtM and I take that label aware of what it carries. I’m aware that there is a stigma attached to the word “tranny” and that I’m exercising my male privilage by using it, when it’s so insulting to parts of the community, but I also want to reclaim it and make it a label people can be proud to wear. What does that mean though? I’m gay, and I’m male, and I’m trans. Those are all parts of my identity, and even if I don’t tell everyone I meet immediately, I can’t see myself ever hiding any of them. I’m also sarcastic, flippant, the king of innuendo, an ex-mohawkee, now recovered, an equally recovered crazy, who now has the “sane badge”, a failed guitar player with a voice even my boyfriend has to describe as “unable to stay in key”, a clever bastard (when I bother to work), not bad-looking but not hot, good at TMI’ing people, with a personality that can at best be described as “eclectic”. I’m also a genuinely nice guy who wants to get to know other local transguys, maybe that’s why I’m keeping this blog. Either way, it’s to share my experiences with other people, so I’m blogging.

Genderqueer trannyfag over and out